Caveman's question and pitching technique

Caveman, working hard on his homework project last night. He's working on a story about himself for his English class. He looks at me with a puzzled look.

Me: "What's the problem?"

Caveman: "How do you spell 'would'?"

Me: "Do you mean 'wood', like comes from a tree, or 'would' as in 'what would I do'?"

Caveman: "'Would' as in 'If I did that, I would get arrested'."

Can you imagine the grade 2 teacher reviewing this kid's homework?

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Tonight after a game of minor softball at the Fitzroy diamond, which I missed due to a late meeting.

Me: "Hey, Caveman! How did the ball game go tonight?"

Caveman: "Daddy, it was great, Daddy! I got to pitch!"

Me: "Oh good! How was that?"

Caveman: "Good! I was the only one that pitched windmeal."

Me: "Pitched what?"

Caveman: "WindMEAL, Daddy!" (mimes a windmill pitch, looking at me like I'm an idiot).

Note to self: Follow up on that appointment with the audiologist.