Well, here it is at long last - the much anticipated Memories of Elkland post. This is the eighth annual. If you are new to the blog, it's a tradition that I post my recollections of my team's annual trip to Ekland, PA for the Durk Sherman Classic on Labour Day weekend. Several people have asked me "when is it coming?"....so here it is. I hope it doesn't disappoint. Names withheld - for the most part - to protect identities where appropriate.
Once again this year, as I have every year since 2007, I packed my bags and left my teacher wife to deal with Labour Day long weekend alone - 'cuz it's the Durk Sherman Classic tournament in Elkland, Pennsylvania. Now, to my credit, I have always made it back for the first day of school on Tuesday, a little worse for wear. And the recovery time required, plus GOFL playoffs / final weekend, work commitments, kids' hockey tryouts, and so on mean it takes a while to get this post up on the blog. But I am finally getting around to it.
As I packed my stuff and got ready to go, the Caveman asked: "Can I go too, Daddy? I like ball!" Oh my, could you imagine? Some time in the future I can pretty much guarantee he'll come with me - not sure what the appropriate age will be, seeing as he is only nine (in person years) right now. Maybe when he does come with me I will get him to write the Memories of Elkland post.
Here are some recollections of this year's event, the 62nd Annual Durk Sherman Classic, named after the late patriarch who started the tournament and built the diamonds, with the tradition carried on by his family today.
The results:
This year's event had 14 teams entered - unfortunately several squads (including long-standing participants I4C Victory / Broker4Tickets which had player issues) dropped out in the preceding week. There were only two eastern Ontario teams: West Carleton Electric and thirty-year plus attendees the Greenbush Generals.
This year the champions were, perhaps unsurprisingly,
Team USA. The American men's national team were the class of the event, rolling through the competition, beating the Team USA Futures in the final. The host Elkland team was third and the Bedford Rays were fourth. PA Power and CPI tied for 5th. Josh Johnson of Team USA was the most valuable pitcher and Nick Mullins of Team USA the most valuable player.
West Carleton Electric finished 1-3 (losing to Bedford, CPI and PA Power, and beating Dick's Diner). Greenbush ended up 1-2.
The pitchers:
There were several good throwers in attendance this year. Top arms included Gerald Muizelaar & Josh Johnson (Team USA) Tyler Kelly (Team USA futures). Doug Hoffman (Power), Gregg Garrity (CPI), Chris van Volkenburg (NY Bombers), Ty McKinney (Farmersville), Kyle Crawford (Elkland), and the ageless
Chuck Smith (Dick's Diner) were all in attendance. Brad Porter also threw for Elkland.
West Carleton had Andy & Jeff Barber, as well as Jason Smith. Greenbush had seasoned veteran Chris Bresee, and McNish father (Matt) & son (Shane).
One guy that has pitched every year that I've been there unfortunately didn't toe the rubber for this year's event. If you've been there, you've seen him throwing for a local team. Fair-sized fella, named Dean, with a big grunt. His son Dean Jr. was telling me that Dean Sr. took a hard liner off the boiler, and had hung up the pitching cleats. The end of an era!
The Elkland Softball Association Complex, the weather and the schedule:
The ESA complex was once again in top shape for the event as Bill Sherman and crew had the place looking great. As every year, there were many dedicated volunteers working hard to keep things going.
There was a one small issue in left field of the main diamond - a large bee hive was attached to the foul line fencing. It was cordoned off with caution tape. Since the boys are prone to the odd "antic", there was a suggestion that perhaps one of the West Carleton players could get himself a
bee beard to wear to the Moose that night, but it (un)fortunately never materialized.
There was of course a well stocked and reasonably priced beer tent and concessions. If you have heard of Elkland, you have heard about the chicken pit. While it seems hard to believe, the chicken was probably the best I have had since I've been there. Very tasty - the guys that cook these birds know what they're doing. And they were of course assisted by the littlest Sherman son, who was spotted taking a nap on the counter in the chicken pit. Not surprisingly he wasn't wearing a shirt or shoes.
There was also a new food stand this year at the park selling breakfast sandwiches, gyros, Philly cheese steaks and other great grub. An excellent addition to the food options available.
Ugo the announcer was in fine form again, working every game on the main diamond from morning to night from Friday to Monday. A great job as always - I think I may have him convinced to make the trip up to announce at the Gil Read tournament in 2015.
Regular attendees to this weekend in Elkland will know you essentially have to pack for all possible weather. Friday night, it was very cold, single digits Celsius easily (that's 30s or 40s in US American). Saturday afternoon, it was sticky hot. Sunday morning it poured rain. You pretty much get it all on Labour Day weekend down there. The rain on Sunday pushed things back. The 10 am games eventually got started shortly after 1 pm.
This also meant that games got pushed back during the rest of the day. The complex has three fields, but only one is lit. So, the 8 pm game actually started about 11 pm, featuring PA Power and WC Electric. This was definitely the first time I was in a game that ended at 1:30 am. It didn't help that the opposition's pitcher was not the fastest worker on the slab. "I don't like this ball, give me another one." Really? It's a quarter to one here. Can't we just move things along?
WC Electric ended up losing the game 5-1 - it was a long day at the park with three games spaced over 12 hours and a late finish due to the rain delay. What impressed me - but didn't surprise me given my experience with the guy - was a play in the top of the seventh inning. We were down 5-0 at the time, it was well past one in the morning, we had only one hit all game, and it was clear there was little chance were going to win. However, that didn't stop our shortstop from laying out on a screamer up the middle to make a diving stab to grab the ball and make a play at second based to end the inning. Great effort by a great guy who showed no matter what the situation, he comes to play.
Base Camp:
Many of the ball players stay at motels in nearby towns, but many camp for free at the campground onsite at the complex. It's provided free of charge by the ESA with water and electrical hook ups. (Probably other kinds of hook ups too, but none at our site!)
As in past year, our team had four campers that we parked into a square that were refer to as "base camp", surrounding a makeshift fire pit and near some crazy locals (see below).
Base camp is where we spent the rain delay, sipping refreshments and telling stories, remembering players from years gone by and fastball tournaments and teams long since folded.
We ate like kings at base camp, with some excellent eats generously provided by one of our teammates. Deep fryer + chicken wings + cod + turkey = heaven. It was like being at an all inclusive resort, without the beach. We were definitely the best fed campers on site.
The "antics" level was diminished this year, as one of our crew renowned for his wooden shoes, Terminator eye and beer can wrestling (
note: if the previous sentence makes no sense to you, read this and this and this) took a vow of #noshenanigans. We did still manage lots of laughs. Word is that the shenanigans ban will be lifted in 2015!
I believe I slept a total of about 12 hours over the three nights we were there, but it was worth it as it was great times with a fun group of guys both West Carleton regulars and the guys we added for the weekend.
The locals
One of the fun things about going to Elkland is meeting some local residents, whether they be players or fans. For instance, this year we met a Squeak, an enterprising businessman who was in sales.
We also met another guy I will call LOUD GUY who befriended us, and ended up cheering us on at our games. LOUD GUY was in a trailer near our area and he also happened to be a bootlegger, selling moonshine. (Not making this us - it came in a re-purposed Gatorade bottle and had 'apple pie' flavouring.)
LOUD GUY also insisted on giving us his pro tips of softball wisdom. When you read these three nuggets of wisdom, please remember to a) picture a big burly dude screaming these 'suggestions' b) with a Pennsylvania accent and c) repeating them several times in a drunken stupor.
Pro Tip #1: GET YOUR PANTS DIRTY! (
Git yo paints durt-tay). "When I played ball, I got my pants dirty every game. Every game! Dirty!"
Pro Tip #2: YOU GOT TO SCORE A RUN TO GET RUNS! (
You gotta score a run to git runs). "If you score a run, then youse can get ten runs. You got to score a run!"
Pro Tip #3: DON'T THROW THE BALL AROUND!
(Don' throw da ball aroun'). "When you throw the ball around, you throw it around and nothing good happens when you throw the ball around."
Fairly sound advice.
Other assorted locals were observed sleeping outside overnight: one dude passed out by their campfire, on top of his sleeping bag; a girl sleeping on a couch in the back of a pick up truck; and another guy who passed out in middle of the campground on what would be regarded as the 'road', in the pitch black. As far as we know, they all lived.
There is also "The Neighbour". Or I guess more properly spelled the US American way, "The Neighbor". The Neighbor is a guy who is not pleased with the ESA ball park - even though he lives directly adjacent to it. The Neighbor is the guy that called the cops that resulted in some citations a few years ago for some eastern Ontario guys. The Neighbor has been to court with the Sherman family. The Neighbor is not a happy guy, as evidenced by his screaming "turn that music down or I am calling the cops!" Which of course resulted in the music being turned up. The police never did show. The Neighbor did have his revenge though. Promptly at 7 am on Sunday morning, he was out with the weed whacker making as much racket as he could, I am sure in hopes of waking up / p***ing off all the campers. What a lovely guy!
He's baaaaaaaack:
Back in 2007, we had a 14-year old bat boy who befriended West Carleton Electric and became our unofficial mascot. Good old Jessie then came back every year for the next five years to help us out. However, last year he was nowhere to be seen. Was in the Army, as we suggested to him? Was he in jail? Was he in Army jail? We didn't know and we were kinda worried.
Well, this year he made a return appearance to visit his old friends from Canada. A 21-year old Jessie came by to visit briefly at base camp, where he knew to find us. It was a quick visit but it was good to know he was still breathing. During his time with us we were updated on his employment situation (unemployed), his housing (trailer park), his parents (bank foreclosed on their house) and his offspring (two year old girl with his baby mama). He really didn't follow any of the advice we gave him, but it was good to see him back in Elkland.
The Moose:
As in previous years, the local Moose Lodge was a popular place for ballplayers to have a drink or three after their games were over. It's still a place to get a $2 beer, and that's tough to beat.
One of our guys ordered a pitcher of rye and Coke, "Canadian Style". That consisted of the bartender grabbing a 26er of Canadian Club, pouring it over ice and topping it up with Coca-Cola, with the resulting product approximately the colour of iced tea. Now that's a real Canadian drink.
There were many ball players there talking about the GOFL, rumours, discussion of this season and who's doing what next year.
This year we got into the complimentary popcorn pretty heavily. It was so salty so it encouraged multiple refreshments. It got to the point where guys were saying "Gawd, this popcorn is so salty it's gross!" as they ate another fourteen handfuls. While the appropriate method of serving is in the little wicker baskets they provided, there were some unorthodox way used to serve the tasty snack. Perhaps that's why one guy on our team ended up with a big butter stain on his ball cap that we remarked on in the morning!
Of course, a night at the Moose is always best finished with the breakfast provided by the ladies of the Moose Lodge. As described in previous "Memories" it is a tasty US American breakfast served from midnight until they run out. Mmmm, bacon, eggs, toast, pancakes, biscuits and gravy, sausage, just before bed. Takes the edge off in the morning.
The conclusion:
Once again, despite this year's absence of a key member of the Sherman family who was missed, it was an outstanding venue, with some excellent softball played and a top notch group of guys on the Elkland Thunderbellys team that make it happen.
I like to win as much as the next guy, and I was disappointed with West Carleton Electric's 1-3 finish. We brought a strong team but played against some other good teams and couldn't get wins. But as I have explained to some of my non-ball playing friends, it's like being at the hunt camp (without the guns). Even if you go all the way up to the camp and come home with no deer, it's always a great weekend with the guys doing something you love.
As one of my teammates said on Monday: "It's the saddest day of the year - the day Elkland ends."
I have written it many times on this blog: if you haven't been, make plans to go either as a player, coach or fan. It is really worth the trip.
Labels: Elkland
